Here is a summary of some of the key things we discussed at the Breathing Space that took place on 19th June 2018 in North Wakefield
Feel free to add your own comments and keep the discussion going.
A reminder to everyone that everything that was discussed was confidential, so I'm not mentioning any names or going into much detail.
For those who have not been before, be aware that no-one was forced to say or share anything they didn't want to.
The theme today was around Money Hangups
With our very own Piggy Bank in the Middle, we kicked off with an ice breaker to get things going. If money were an animal or a creature, what kind of animal would it be for you?
We had some great answers, my favourite being a Donkey (sometimes it helps you, sometimes it bites you in the … proverbial), Chameleon ( we have to change and adapt to different circumstances) and, being a little creative with the definition of 'animal', one person came up with Celebrity (craved by those who don't have it but when they get it, it's not what they thought)
As the discussion rolled around, we picked up quite a few interesting nuggets.
Once you get over a certain threshold and have the basics covered, then all we do is create things to spend the extra money on. It becomes a self generating loop. Once you realise the artificiality of the majority of what you spend money on, then you can make changes very quickly and focus on doing the things you enjoy.
Naturally we had lots of discussions around beliefs coming from our parents and the how finding time and creating memories is much more important than the 'stuff' we buy.
There was a really interesting section on gratitude. People that had been in really difficult financial situations got through it by being grateful for what they had, rather than worrying about what they didn't have. And when it came to ongoing fears around money, their relationship with money was changing as they found ways to actually enjoy paying the bills.
By focussing on the value that the person had brought to them and then writing notes of thanks and smiley faces on the invoice when they paid it, the whole thing became a journey of fun.
The challenge lay in paying the tax man, as there was disagreement as to how the government used the funds collected. However, the group delivered once again.
First of all, we may not like the specifics of where every penny goes but, on a basic level, we are blessed to live in this country with so much support and abundance that other countries are not so fortunate to have, and it's the taxes that make it happen.
Secondly, if you're paying taxes, you must have earned it, so be grateful for being in such a positive position.
Keep practicing and you too can enjoy paying your taxes.
A few other nuggets that came out:
The fear around not having enough money is nearly always connected to shame rather than, say, a physical threat. Those that had actually gone through it had found that they were actually able to cope and rise up stronger than they had before. The pain was necessary to learn the lessons and, when teaching children the importance of money, being strict with boundaries and letting them feel the consequence of spending all their pocket money is really important. These small pains at a young age will help avoid the bigger issues when they get older.
There are two types of financial security. The obvious one, in having enough money to cover your future costs. But also one based on mental attitude. If you are confident that everything will be fine and that, if the worst happens, you'll just deal with it and crack on, then there is no insecurity around money.
Then, to wrap up we had a quick session on how to deal with charging for services when you're having issues around your own worth.
One suggestion was to focus on selling the service or the skill. So create a gap between the product and 'self' and act like a broker, bringing in a subcontractor to do the work for the client – the subcontractor just happens to be you.
Tapping into what was discussed at the beginning, it's essential to do what is necessary in order to cover the bills and then start experimenting with prices. But don't be attached to the outcome.
A full on session today. Not surprising, given the subject matter. I'm sure we'll be coming back to some of these points in future meetings.
For info, the next Breathing Spaces coming up are as follows:
- 27th June South Sheffield 6pm to 8pm The theme is on Business Enjoyment
- 10th July Retford 12pm to 2pm The theme is on Finding Your Purpose
- 17th July North Wakefield 12pm to 2pm The theme is on Business Enjoyment
You can access the booking page for all of these events by going to:
If none of these are convenient in terms of geography or time, then do keep an eye on this page or the events section of my website, as more groups will be opening up soon, including online, so there will be a time and place that is right for you.
Book yourself on one if you can, and I'll see you soon