Some of my thoughts and views
This is one of a series of brief posts to get you thinking about enjoying business more. Feel free to comment.
I've met and worked with thousands of business owners in my time: those who are really struggling; those who are getting by; those who are doing pretty well, thank you very much; those who are doing really, really well. Amongst all of them, it's very rare to find someone who truly enjoys their business.
Here is a summary of some of the key things we discussed at the Breathing Space that took place in Retford on 5th June 2018.
The theme today was around Enjoying Business.
Whereas the other meetings are usually bottom up (recognising the area that causes issues and then looking how it develops in real life), today's meeting ran the other way round. What are the issues being faced now and then drilling down into the areas underneath?
Sure enough, however, we were soon getting into conversations that match the Business Enjoyment model such as purpose, fear of rejection, self worth, money issues and so on.
A Breathing Space Report
Here is a summary of some of the key things we discussed at the Breathing Space that took place on 22nd May 2018.
Feel free to add your own comments and keep the discussion going.
A reminder to everyone that everything that was discussed was confidential, so I'm not mentioning any names or going into much detail.
For those who have not been before, be aware that no-one was forced to say or share anything they didn't want to.
The theme today was around Self-Esteem and Inner Confidence
The theme for our next Breathing Space event on 22nd May is around Self Esteem and Inner Confidence. A very common behaviour that can severely damage these key elements is the curse of Perfectionism.
To warm you up, I therefore thought it would be worth reproducing Chapter 3 of The Successful Business Owner's Guide to Reducing Stress, which briefly covers just this topic.
Get yourself booked on at
www.bit.ly/CommunityWY
Here is a summary of some of the key things we discussed at the Breathing Space that took place on 17th April 2018.
A reminder to everyone that everything that was discussed was confidential, so I'm not mentioning any names or going into much detail.
For those who have not been before, be aware that no-one was forced to say or share anything they didn't want to.
This month's theme was around Feeling Safe.
With our Enjoyment Turtle perched on his own chair in full view of the group, the context was introduced around feeling safe financially. It was, however, acknowledged that it can also apply to physical health, mental health, emotional health and so on.
For context we heard quotes from people who had been through an insolvency and genuinely lost everything
We heard stories of people who were driven to provide for their family - to the point of mania - yet when they looked at the bigger picture, they actually had enough already and were able to relax.
Finally, we heard about people who had no financial issues, but were still driven to get more, often due to a fear of losing everything.
A few months ago, I was introduced to a successful businessman who agreed to be interviewed for research towards my next book.
It became clear that he was, indeed, a very driven person, with lots of different financially profitable activities going on. We didn't discuss numbers but it was pretty clear that, if he wasn't a millionaire, he would be very soon.
As we dug deeper, however, an interesting development arose as it became very clear that he was driven by fear. Fear of not having enough.
To the extent that, if business sales were down in any given week, he would react by getting stressed and panic. This had got so bad that he admitted that he was being treated for anxiety and depression.
Personally, that doesn't sound like someone who's enjoying what they do.
Click on the View Post link at the top to find out more
Have you noticed that everybody you speak to or are connected with is doing really well?
They're happy, business is good and their future is looking so damned rosy. Sure they've got something to moan about, we are British after all. It may be the weather, the traffic or the latest frustrations around Brexit, but underlying the social requirement to moan, things are going pretty well for them.
As for you, you're fed up, stressed, wondering why you're doing what you're doing and generally getting that feeling that you're in the wrong place. Not that you can tell anyone else that. You don't want to be a mood hoover and frighten everyone away, do you?
Consequently, you slap on the smile, tell yourself to fake it until you make it and step out into the world pretending to be someone that, quite honestly, you're not.
In a recent session of the Coaching Group that I'm a member of, we were discussing recent successes and I mentioned that I'd just finished the draft of my fifth book.
(You can check out the other four here. If you could also click the Heart symbol beneath my photo, that would be very much appreciated.)
As a consequence, one of the other members asked me to share my secret of being so prolific. The thing is, I'm not sure I have a secret around being prolific, it's just a way of presenting information I already have.
I suspect that if you looked at all the blogs and articles you've posted over just the last few months, add in what you've learned from your own self-development and all the books you read (filtered through your own perspective, naturally) and you would easily have enough content for a book as well.
The key thing for any book or similar product is to know what you want from it (hint, it won't be to make money).
We British are very good at 'making do'. It seems that, anything above 'total and utter catastrophe' is generally considered to be a pretty good outcome. And when asked how things are going, the answer is always going to be 'yeah, good thanks' regardless of what is actually happening.
A recent study published by The Consulting Arm Ltd has suggested that the average small business owner runs at a contentment level of just 53% but, in casual conversation, pretends to be at least 20 points higher. Whilst part of this deception is deliberate in order to project a positive, yet false, image to others, there is also a large proportion of self deception going on. Social conditioning has led people to believe that struggle and mediocrity are the norm and, in some cases, actually a good thing.
I believe that, if you run your own business, you should enjoy what you do. And I mean really enjoy it, not just make do with "above average".
I have founded a community of people who are fed up of making do and want to rediscover enjoyment in their successes, not just money and profits. We meet on a regular basis to share challenges, uncover new ways of thinking and pursue a path of both success and enjoyment.
Come along, meet other business owners and learn something. The worst thing that can happen is that you might enjoy yourself.
Spaces are limited so book now.
I've done various types of yoga in my time, but I always remember seeing a programme a few years ago which introduced me to the concept of something called Laughter Yoga.
I'm pretty sure the class they covered was based in America – probably California. But it fascinated me at the time and has continued to do so.
At the time, I think my intrigue was more around how 'the world has gone mad' that such ridiculous things exist but, over the years, my views have softened and I've always been mindful as to how good I feel after a bloody good laugh.
As The Business Enjoyment Coach, I felt that it was my duty to find out more about this unusual, but clearly fun, practice.
A strange thing happened the other day.
I was at the gym with my personal trainer and he set me a really horrible exercise.
The exercise itself doesn't matter, the point is it left me absolutely knackered. Muscles hurting, chest pounding, lungs bursting.
“How was that?” he asked.
“Bloody horrible.” I said. “I'm in pain and I'm struggling for breath.
When we experience stress in a day to day context, we experience a physical reaction.
I'm not a big fan of just managing symptoms. Rather I'd get the route cause sorted. However, sometimes a quick solution is needed and besides, there are some things I can't really fit into a blog.
So what do we do when we are feeling nervous, stressed or uncomfortable and aren't in a position to sort out the root issue?
To read the full post, join my Linkedin Group "The Business Enjoyment Network".
Click here to apply.
